How to Make a Guy Love you

How to make a BOY love you;

1. When he asks if he has a large penis just point and laugh. It shows that you notice things AND have a sense of humour. You also don't want him thinking that you're too obsessed with size.

2. If he asks for a blow job smile, nod then bite. Guys love surprises. And since they are "men" they can't complain because men don't feel pain. Pain only puts more hair on their chest.

3. Once a week tell your boy about your feelings and ask him about his. Guys are totally into talking about their feelings. Isn't that how metro guys came into being? And isn't that why Justin Timberlake always writes songs about his feelings?

4. Call him in the middle of the night to ask if he's sleeping.
If he is, ask "With who." Repeat this 4 or 5 times until
Morning. This will show him you care, and that you want to be part of his life AT ALL TIMES.

5. When he is upset about something, suggest to him that it must be
his fault, after all he is a guy and everything wrong in this world is because of guys. Then explain that if women ruled the world it would just be a better place to be. This shows that you know, that he really does want to be a feminist, and that you are giving him the opportunity and safe environment to share his feelings on how much more totally awesome girls are than boys.

6. Recognize the small things . . . like his penis. Make sure everytime he pulls it out of talks about sex you laugh hysterically and start saying comments like tiny tim.

7. If you're talking to another guy, make sure he's looking.
When he is, stare into his eyes mouth the words "He f*cks better than you." Guys love competition and where they stand compared to other guys.

8. When he says you're smothering and suffocating him say you understand. Next time you sleep with him wait until he's sleeping and then cover his face with a pillow. This shows that you understand his kinky side and you're down to help him if he's into asphixiation.

9. Introduce him to your friends as "The guy with the thing" then giggle.
Guys have egos and love knowing that you are talking about them to your friends.

10. Play with his penis. Play with it HARD.

11. When he talks about having a guys night out suggest that they go to a strip club or a poker night. If he says yes to either one of those things start screaming and call him a sick bastard and a gamblig addict. Guys love spontaneous girls, they also hate monogamy so the more schizoid you can be the more your guy will feel like he's a baller. Why date 10 different girls when you can have 10 personalities in one body?

12. Ask him if any of the following questions: Do I look fat in these _____? Do you think I'm pretty? Do you love me? Guys love it when you ask their opinion. It shows that you care about their opinion and that you appreciate their opinion.

13. Make him happy. A good way to do this is if he has a big screen television set or any expensive electronic equipment take you beer and pour it onto the equipment so it breaks. This is great for two reasons 1) guys love girls that drink beer and 2) guys love buying new electronics. This will always make him happy.

14. Let him fall asleep after sex. When he's fast asleep, wait 10
minutes then ask him about what he thinks about your relationship. Guys love it when you wait until the "right" moment to talk to them. And after sex all guys are relaxed.

15. Spit often. I hear guys like girls that spit. And don't forget our favorite burp and then blow it in his face. It's like phermones baby.

16. If you care about him never ever tell him, in fact talk about other guys. Guys don't like girls that are too clingy. Again, guys love competition.

17. Every time you're in his house leave something of yours. Guys love it that you always have 1 more reason to come by unannounced, it shows you care and that you don't expect him to plan everything.

18. Look him in the eyes and smile...then clock him one. Guys love a
spontaneous girl. Make sure you punch him really hard. Guys love spunky, feisty girls.

19. Find his nudie mags and paste your face over all of the girls faces. This will show you understand his need to "do guy things and private time." But it'll also show that you care about him.

20. When you go out to a bar or club keep asking him whether he's looking at a girl, or if he's slept with a girl. Keep asking him this about all of the girls. Guys love it when their girl thinks of them as virile.

21. Titty twisters (or as i call them "Purple Nurples")...and plenty ofthem.

22. If you're reading a book and he asks about what you're reading. Smile and pinch his cheeks and say "come on you know you wouldn't understand this." Guys love it when girls are assertive.

24. Two words...Dutch Oven.

25. Remember his birthday but don't get him anything.
Teach him material objects aren't important. The only thing that's important is that he keeps you happy. And your happiness is the greatest
present he can ever get.

26. If he calls and says he wants to see you or misses you say "that's nice," then hang up. And don't answer any calls from him. You don't want him thinking you're clingy.

27. When he gives you a present on your birthday,
Christmas, or just whenever, take it and tell him you love it. Then, next
time you know he's coming over on a trash day, leave the trash can
open and have the present visibly sticking out of the can. Guys love a girl thats not materialistic.

28. IF ALL ELSE FAILS JUST LIE and tell him he has a huge penis and that he's the best sex you've ever had. (Guys are really just scared boys that need reassurance). They'll know you're lying but never call you on it.

Some of you might notice that most of these are about sex. Come on.... the way to a guys heart is through his...ahem appendages.