Spam Life

Ahhh... the joys of a spam filter. I always wonder how people get your email address and then figure out what type of person you are.

This is my life according to my junk mail:

I am a very lonely male that has a very small penis, I also have premature ejaculation problems. However, I can fix this all with a slew of pills. But that is not all that I need. In order for me to get a girl I also need a rolex, or a fauxlex because chicks dig dudes with permanently hard penises and nice watches. How you ask am I going to fund all of this? Simple, I'm going to give my bank account number to a secret administrator of a country in South Africa who found my name through a friend and in exchange they will give me millions for hiding their money. Otherwise, if I don't want to do that I can make a ton of money stuffing envelopes.

I think all I need now is a sex change so I can have a penis, and then I'll start stufifng envelopes and helping to embezzle money from South Africa, and buy my fauxlex, and then I need to find that final missing piece to happiness. What is that you ask? Well obviously I need to get on that spam list for the hot girls named Candy and Misty that want to be my friends. Then, and only then will my life be complete.

I think I lead a much more interesting spam life than real life. Oh well. I guess the cybergrass is always a better simulation than real life?