How Not to Apply to a Jorb

Today has been the funniest day at work. We recently posted an ad on Craig's List for a part-time file clerk. We asked for the following:

1) Detail Oriented
2) Professional
3) Only part-time, only 8-10 hours per week, you must comitt for 2 years.

We told the people:

1) Send via email cut and pasted in the body of the email.
2) Send a salary requirement

What we got... Freaking Hilarious!!!!

- Responses from 120 people
- Some of the responses were from email addresses such as:
Hispanicprincess@
Yellowhairedwarrior@
Bigfun@
Cumon@
bigLoad@
xchubbycheekz@
Yeah, these resumes got tossed just because they are retarded

Then we got responses from:
- Martinez
- Livermore
- North Carolina?

Oh, oh, and my favorite. We said "You Must Be Detail Oriented" so then we get people who do not capitalize "I", and responses like, "I be responding to you ad", and other atrocious grammar oriented people. Or people responding to the "file clerk" position then starting off with..."Here is my resume in response to the Vice-President position of Marketing Ad you placed on Craig's List." WTF No wonder these people are unemployed. Oh god. I think I almost pissed my pants reading some of the resumes. Sometimes, like today, I actually enjoy my job. Oh the power of the denial letter!! muhahaha!!!

Dietary Notes From Momma C

My mom's favorite game is hide the fish in the food. That may sound like a dirty thing but it's not. She knows I refuse to eat fish unless it's deep fried and battered. For years now she's been complaining that

1. She should have starved me more so I'd eat fish.
2. How can I be Korean and not eat fish.
3. She must have failed as a mother because I don't eat fish.

I guess I am a failure as an Asian if I don't eat fish.

Sooo.... that being said. Her favorite game is to make food, normally *drum roll please* Yes, you guessed it our best friend SOUP AND RICE. (Please read previous blog if you're confused). So, her favorite thing to do is to hide fish in soups and then see if I notice.

Our conversation yesterday.

- Essuduh you want soup?

- Is there fish in it?

- No. You no eat fish. I know that. Why are you asking?

- Uh, mom, why is there a fish head floating in the soup?

- Oh, I take out, then no fish see.

- But mom, there's still fish eyes floating in the soup, and it tastes like fish.

- AHHHH... Just eat soup!

- It's okay mom, I'll just eat cup o'noodles.

- Always cup o'noodle. One day you turn into cup o'noodle. I should call them and tell them all you eat all day is cup o'noodle, maybe they sponsor you.

- Mom, how is that different than soup and rice every day?

- It's different soup. GO TO YOUR ROOM. I make you noodle.

Then she grumbles. I think I heard her tossing 3 pots around in the kitchen. When I poked my head out to check up on her she was just throwing pots and making noise to piss off me and my dad. I guess we're on time out right now.

ooooo...oooo...oooo I have a fun game. Guess this fruit!!

Mom: "Essuduh, you want grapplefruit juice?"

- What is grapplefruit?

Mom: Grapplefruit!!

- Is it grape juice?

Mom: No, grapplefruit.

- Is it grape and apple?

Mom: No. You not listening? Grapplefruit!!! (She then makes a hand motion of a circular object about the size of a softball).

GUESS THE FRUIT!