WW 3 begins?

My dad has been warring with racoons for years now. I think they called a truce sometime ago. I'll give you the lowdown on what happened in WWI with the racoons.

So pops installed a pond into the backyard with a water fall. He got it up and running with plants and then added fish into the pond. One day he goes out there and notices that out of 25 fish he put into the pond there's only 5 remaining. At first he blamed our dog but our dog professed innocence. The dog's alibi panned out because we found out 1) the dog hates water, and 2) he's mostly a vegetarian except for the occasional squirrel that he mauls and leaves for my dad. So after pops ruled out the dog he decided the only way to figure out the fish situation was to do a stake out.

We have a patio that overlooks the pond. My dad slept on the patio in a sleepingbag and basically stared at the pond most of the night. Around midnight he sees a family of racoons walk nonchalantly up to the pond and start fishing out all of his fish. My dad at this point was so tired that he just threw things at them and then went inside to ruminate on the problem.

The first thing he did was have a talk with the dog. (Poor guy gets all the slack) Jundoh (our dog) said that he shouldn't be blamed since he was only a puppy and the racoons were bigger than him. He also pointed out that there were 4 racoons and only one of him. My dad said that if Jundoh wanted to keep his room and board he better start scaring some racoons. Jundoh said yeah yeah and they agreed to disagree. So then my dad decided the key to keeping the fish alive was to put a net over the pond.

One weekend later and much grumbling and macgyvering later (duck tapes is god) I go to the backyard to see a net laid out taught over the pond. My dad goes back to the fishstore and restocks his pond. A couple of days later he goes to check up on the fish and finds only 1 out of 20 left. Now THIS pisses pops off. He does another stake out and sees the racoons basically thanking my dad for putting the net up. Instead of only being able to fish from out outter edges the racoons could not walk out onto the middle of the pond on top of the net and fish from there.

Okay. So the net didn't work. Obviously it's too close to the water. So what does Macgyver... I mean dad do? He builds an arch out of plumbing pvc pipes that goes over the pond. That'll serve them damn racoons. Round three to the fish store. At this point the fish store people have his 20 fish already bagged up and waiting for him. Dad takes the fish back to the house and plops them into the pond.

Instead of waiting to see what happens my dad decides to do another stake out. That night he sees the racoons come up to the pond and stare at the dome over the pond. Confused they wander around it and try to fish by putting their paws through the net. Realizing that they can't reach the fish they leave. SUCCESS!! Feeling amply satisified that his fish are safe pops goes to bed with a smile on his face.

A couple of days later he goes to check on the pond. Guess what? Only 2 fish left. My dad at this point is pretty much WTF Mate!? and pissed off. At this point the racoons have insulted not only him, but also his honor, and damnit eaten hella fish. The only way to deal with this situation is to stake out again. That night my dad realizes the genius of the racoons. He watches them come up to the dome and somehow crawl ontop of the dome. The racoons had figured out that if you piled enough of them on top of the netting the net would get low enough to touch the water and fish. Drat!!! Foiled again!

At this point the racoons have eaten all of the fish and my dad has decided that its time for chemical warfare. Since all of the fish are gone, and my dad doesn't really give a rats ass anymore about the pond he decides he's going to make the racoons suffer. He takes all the plants out and puts bleach into the water. That'll show them damn racoons!

Another night of stake outs. He watches as the racoons come up to the pond and look surprised since there is neither a net nor a dome. Their suspicion aroused they sniff the water. AFter smelling the bleach they look at each other. After a short conference they all decide to go into the pond and take a bath.

DAD 0
RACOONS 4

End Game End Match. Dad says fuck the pond I'd rather have a rock garden. The dog likes it he poops there. The racoons haven't been back since the pond went missing.

But I think the truce was just broken. My dad planted an apricot tree, an orange tree and some strawberries. Twould seem that "something" has been eating and nibbling on the produce. Moms just left the house and told dad about it. I think I smell a stake out coming on.

I'll keep you guys updated on possible WWII. Dad vs Raccons part II
At least now dad has our old dog and a new puppy to talk to during his stake outs and I can go to sleep.