Living with a Hoarder

My mom is a horder. She hordes everything, my father is also a horder. While my parents are both packrats they pack different things. My father hordes things while my mother hordes food. Last night my father and I got to gang up on my mom.

My mom is constantly telling me that there is food or a certain type of drink in the fridge for me. Usually what happens is that I don't want whatever she's offering at that EXACT moment but then literally two days later I do want it. So last night I asked for juice.

Mom: Why you always want something after we don't have it?! You never want whatever we have in the refridgerator you always want what we don't have!

Me: Mom you told me we had juice two days ago! I thought we'd still have it?

Mom: Do you want pie?

Me: Pie? We have pie? (As I'm staring in the fridge) Where's the pie?

Mom: In the freezer. We have two pies. I've been saving them.

Me: Mom why do you always hide food from us?

Mom: I don't hide food. You just never eat it so I have to freeze it or it goes bad.

Dad: Yeah, why you hide food from us? We want pie!

Me: Yeah pie!!

Mom: It's flojen, no pie for you light now. Stop bothering me.

Dad: But we want pie!

Me: Fine, I don't want pie.

Mom: But I took the pie out already!

Me: But you said it's frozen so we can't have any?

Mom: See you never want what we have.

Me: But, but, but you said we couldn't have it.

Mom: Never mind. No pie for you.

Dad: Stop hiding food from us. We want pie!

Mom: E go to your room! Honey you go back to watching TV. No pie for either of you!

Both me and my dad on timeout. Damn!